Dear Cammy: Making New Friends, Keeping Old Ones

We’re delighted that our advice columnist for middle schoolers has rejoined our growing ranks of contributors.  Cammy answers two letters this week from local students about issues with school friends.  If you would like to send a letter to Cammy, email it to cammy12100@gmail.com

 

Dear Cammy,

I am in 10th grade and just started a new school this year. Everything is going all right. All my classes are good and the kids there are nice, but I feel as if I don’t belong. I have made a few friends and we all get along. But every time the whole group is together I feel out of the loop. They all already have so much history together because they’ve all known each other since they were in kindergarten. I really want to keep these friends; I just don’t know what to do about this one problem. What do I do?

The New Kid

Dear The New Kid,

I understand where you are coming from. Going to a new school is hard and coming in at such a late time in your life is even harder. It’s great that you are enjoying your classes and you have begun to make friends. What a great start! The hardest part is over. It will take time to fully connect as a part of this friend group. They all have so many memories together, so try making new ones with them. Why don’t you try inviting them over to go to your favorite place or for a sleepover. This will help all of you to get to know one another, trust one another, and have memories to help create that foundation of the friendship. Wishing you the best of luck!

Cammy

Dear Cammy,

Throughout all my life, I have had the same friend group. We have done everything together since kindergarten. This year we are going into our final year at the middle school and things are starting to change. I do not have many/no classes with a lot of my friends and I feel as though the group is slowly falling apart. I don’t want to lose my friends; I care about them so much. Help Cammy, what should I do?

Not Sure

Dear Not Sure,

You have been so fortunate to have had such amazing friends and I see where you are coming from. After going through so much, it is hard to let go of the people you know, love, and trust the most. You need to understand that this is a time in your life when people are finding themselves and where they fit in. I believe that it is in your best interest that you talk to your friends about how you feel. Everyone goes through times when they aren’t in a lot of classes with their friends. That doesn’t mean that you can’t hang out outside of class. Just always remember to be open to new friends no matter how secure you are with your closest friends; you will never know who you will meet. Wishing you the best of luck!

Cammy

More Columns from Cammy

We are delighted to publish more columns from our wonderful teenage advice columnist today.  The column is designed for middle schoolers and is written by a girl, ‘Cammy’, who is middle school age, but opting to remain anonymous.  We apologize sincerely for the delay in publishing these new columns — it was entirely the editor’s fault, and most definitely not Cammy’s!

Cammy welcomes questions and concerns from all ages.  You can reach her at cammy12100@gmail.com and she is really looking forward to hearing from you.

Dear Cammy,

My friend borrowed $10 from me two months ago and still hasn’t gotten it back. I need the money for the holidays. What should I do?

Minus Ten Dollars

Dear Minus Ten Dollars,

Money problems are always a tough topic. You just need to find a kind of way to ask for the money. For example, you could say, “Hey __________________, I was just wondering if you had the $10 I lent you. I need it for the holidays, so if you could just get it to me as soon as possible, that would be great.” Always handle these situations in a calm, kind, and gentle fashion. Good luck!

Cammy

 

Dear Cammy,

My friend just got a new haircut and it doesn’t look very attractive, she keeps asking what I think. I don’t want to lie to her, but I also don’t want to hurt her feelings. What should I say? What should I do? Help!

Cut too Close

Dear Cut too Close,

Hair is something that you cannot change in an instant.  You don’t want to tell her that you hate it and have her walk around feeling bad about herself.  You should tell her that you like it.  Then when it grows out, tell her that you didn’t mind her haircut, but it wasn’t the one for her.  Maybe suggest a new cute haircut or going back to the way it was before.

Always be kind and considerate, especially when the person cannot change it.  If they can’t control it they will feel bad about themselves until it finally changes.

Good luck with the hairy issue!  Tee Hee!

Cammy