“Plum Spooky” by Janet Evanovich

As all her loyal readers know, Jen Mann is never late with her reviews so where, you ask, is it? Well, it did a disappearing trick and decided to explore the world of cyberspace, which segues beautifully into her book choice for this week, “Plum Spooky” by Janet Evanovich, a story about, in Jen’s words, “Who stole this and kidnapped whom and shot who with what?”

Stephanie Plum is not an Existentialist.  She does not give much thought to the world at large and her place in it.  If she accepts fate, it is with regard to the inevitability of dinner at her family’s house.

She is more of a bull-by-the horns type of gal.  She jumps right in to situations and we love her for it.

The passion and rioutous adventures that plague her life are a joy for us all.  She would definitely be more of an objectivist.  If birthday cake will make her happy, she will eat it.

I know I shouldn’t review these.  They are candy on paper.  I have read and really loved reading them all, so, actually, why the heck not?  Why drama and not monkeys?Stephanie Plum is a Trenton-bred bounty hunter who loves birthday cake and attracts trouble.There are 14 books in the series and then four aside-type books that fit in between.
I laugh, really laugh, when I read any one of them.  Like Carl Hiassen, with whom I am equally enraptured, Evanovich paints these unbelievably hilariously off the cuff pictures. Plum Lucky has monkeys and hookers and the Easter Bunny.  Stephanie steals cars, brings fire-farters home to dinner and gets her man every time.Well, more than one man but that’s a long story.
One monkey, Carl, profers very rude gestures and plays a game-boy.  Her almost brother-in-law gets shot in the derrière with a nail gun , her best friend Lula runs amok in the woods encased in poison green spandex and stilettos.  Stephanie is in love with not one, but two, maybe three, different men.  Her family is manic, her bail-runners are nuts and her hamster, Rex is adorable.  Nothing is quiet in New Jersey .
The talent that manifests itself well is Evanovich’s skill at keeping the mayhem in check.  It is not ludicrous (well, alright,it is, a bit…)  There is still a modicum of normalcy.  Stephanie’s parents sit down to dinner at the same time every night.  Her Mom does her laundry.  Stephanie is a good girl and really tries to eat things other than cake.  Her boyfriends have steady employment.  There is a vein of happy complacency in there somewhere.
The plots are all thriller-type mysteries.  Who stole this and kidnapped whom and shot who with what?  Stephanie gets in trouble but always gets out.  She loves two (maybe three) men and vascillates between them, but not in a sleazy way.  I can promise you a laugh-out-loud reaction to almost any of these books.Who doesn’t love an indecorous monkey, sasquatch and take-out pizza?

“Good Book: The Bizarre, Hilarious,Disturbing, Marvelous, and Inspiring Things I learned When I Read Every Single Word of The Bible” by David Plotz

Just when we thought we were beginning to understand the sorts of book Jen likes, she throws a curve ball with,”Good Book: The Bizarre, Hilarious,Disturbing, Marvelous, and Inspiring Things I learned When I Read Every Single Word of The Bible” by David Plotz.  Forgive us, but it seemed appropriate to leave publication of her thoughts about reading a book about reading The Bible until Sunday

I regard this as a slightly inane Cliff Notes for the Bible.  It was everything he found it to be and his book follows suit.  It is very interesting, slightly irreverent, and clever.

What I remember most about my Sunday School adventures is the oatmeal cookies (and the fact that Madison Avenue Presbyterian had both a pool and bowling lanes in the basements.)  I then studied eastern religions in College, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

That about sums it up.

I, like David Plotz, have not read the whole Bible.  Nor do I really want to, so this book looked perfect.

He reads the whole thing.  The whole enchilada.  What he finds is startling in its violence and horrors.  He finds a very cruel, vindictive God.  We are both surprised.

The God of the Old Testament is not too approachable.  Rape, incest, murder abounds.  Parents killing children.  Children killing parents.  Yikes.

He takes you book by book through the Bible.  Genesis, Deuteronomy, Leviticus etc …
He calls Deuteronomy the,” Moses farewell tour.”  He mentions Leviticus, “in the same hushed tones that … Hollywood exectutives whisper ISHTAR.”
Luckily he has a wonderfully outrageous sense of humor, which makes the content palatable.  Otherwise it would be frightening.

My God, and his, is a very different sort.  In amongst the evils, are the stories we know and the parables worth learning.

All humor aside he tells us to read the Bible for ourselves.  He says he felt like he was understanding his world for the first time.  He was humbled.  It is perfectly acceptable to debate religious interpretation and challenge the beliefs of others, but only if you know all the facts.  One can not presume to judge without full disclosure.
Keep an open mind, remember the importance of The Bible as a stepping stone and don’t lose heart.

It is worth the read.

Moving on with Many Memories

By: Olwen Logan Published 06/19/09 Updated 06/21/09
Hats high!

Though their graduation ceremony may have been forced inside due to the wet conditions on Friday resulting in the crisp, clear tones of the school’s wind ensemble being replaced by recorded music, nothing was going to dampen the spirits of the 114 members of the Lyme-Old Lyme High School Class of 2009.
Marshalls Ali Wilkman and Sean Flaherty lead the procession.
Chelsea Althouse shares some laughter in the line.
Thomas Penfield (left) has a certain uncertainty about it all while Robert Ouellette (center) considers the situation.
The last line for the Class of 2009.

Class President Patrick Landry noted in his speech opening the proceedings that this class had throughout its career been considered, “The class to be reckoned with.”

He recalled that back in middle school, principal Jeffrey Ostroff had told them their “Reputation had preceded” them, but noted how in high school they had finally found “Outlets for their overflowing energy.” Landry was referring to the many successes the class had enjoyed in academics, music, robotics, sports and more, bringing home multiple awards and trophies including two state championships.

As they graduated, he encouraged them to continue to use this energy, “To find a purpose in life,” but, at the same time, to, “Hold onto their principles and values,” predicting that ultimately, through its force, they would have an, “Impact on the world beyond our imagination.”
Pillars bedecked with beauiful floral arrangements greet the entering procession.
The gym is a sea of blue and white.
Photo by K.Tyler (www.ktphoto.net)
A packed gymnasium is the scene of the ceremony.

Building on the theme of the class’s reputation, High School Principal Jan Guarino-Rhone (extreme left in photo above, standing) told the graduates, “You’re not what I thought,” but then added quickly, “… but more than I was led to think.”  Contrasting their future with some of the lives depicted on the television, she cautioned them against “Living (their lives) like reality TV,” imploring them to “Live a real life,” and “Experience the authentic.”

Having told them, “You are well-suited for the life ahead,” Guarino-Rhone quoted Ralph Waldo Emerson’s words, “Live in the sunshine, Swim the sea, Drink in the wild air,” and then advised the Class of 2009 they were ready for prime-time life.”  She closed urging them to, “Move up and move on!”
From left to right, Zach Dunn, Annie Bill, Frank Bombaci and Stephen Burke savor the moment.
Photo by K.Tyler (www.ktphoto.net)
Thoughts on a rose: a contemplative moment for Evan Carabello.

Retiring Humanities teacher and former high school baseball coach Charles Wolfe, pictured immediately above, reflected on his 34 years teaching in the high school, pointing out that he had joined the same year as physical education teacher William Rayder and Athletic Director Robert Roach. He said that along with these “great teachers and great friends,” he had learned that the three greatest qualities a teacher can possess are, “patience, kindness and a sense of humor.”
Wolfe expanded on his theories of qualities teachers require saying they must be able to, “laugh with – and at – the kids, channel their own ridiculousness and embrace the absurd.” He also cautioned teachers, “Don’t be afraid to show your students you care and that you will never give up on them.”
Due to his “extended” stay at the high school, Wolfe said it had become so commonplace for him to find himself teaching the children of former students that it was now inconsequential to him. When a student had first raised their hand, however, and said, “You taught my mom English in 1977,” it had been a little unnerving.  Despite recognizing that many years have passed, Wolfe commented to loud laughter, “I’m not ready to be a greeter at Wal-Mart quite yet!”

Wolfe concluded by expressing thanks to Guarino-Rhone and the faculty for the opportunity to teach and coach saying it was, “Not an honor I take lightly,” and to the board – arousing more laughter – “For 34 years of fat pay checks!”

Honor Essayist Rebecca Baehr, pictured standing in photo above, returned to the theme of the class’s reputation wondering how and why it had been acquired. She noted that over the years the class had variously been described as, “rambunctious, rowdy, wild, mischievous and fun-loving.”  She suggested the Class of 2009 should now take this character and personality to greet the next stage of their lives “Head-on and with audacity,” so that they can in future, “Create and live up to their own reputation.”  Her final wish for her classmates was to, “Keep in touch and live the dream.”

Salutatorian Liia Koiv-Haus, pictured extreme rightin photo below (seated), spoke of the obstacles the class had faced over the years citing her own experience back in Mile Creek School of finding herself locked in the bathroom.  She noted, “Pessimism isn’t healthy,” whereas optimism can turn any difficult situation into a better one.  Sending her fellow members of the Class of 2009 out into the world, Koiv-Haus urged them to see this day as, “A turning point in life,” and to, “Relax and enjoy it.”

Valedictorian Stella Deng, standing in photo above, told the story of “A little girl from a faraway place,” who came to, “The kingdom of LOL” to join the search for the Golden Scroll. It was a “Difficult journey” over “Treacherous terrain” through, among other places, the ‘Castle of Mold’ (a reference to the mold issues in Center School when this class had attended that school), but now finally they had found their scrolls on the top of a podium.

To their surprise, when they were opened, the scrolls were blank and, “Now it’s time,” Deng told them, “for you to find the words of your own … the rest of the story is up to you.”

Wolfe was also honored with the Outstanding Educator Award given in memory of the former Lyme-Old Lyme High School teacher Mildred Sanford.  He is shown leaving the stage having been presented with that award and a bouquet of flowers.

Each student was then presented with their diploma by Board of Education Chairman Susan Fogliano.
A smiling Aaron Mesham receives his diploma.

Many gave and received hugs on – and off – the stage.
A smile and a hug from Michael Smith.
Michael Massa embraces math teacher Kirk Kaczor.

After presentation of diplomas, the task of dismissing the graduates fell to Robert Roach (pictured below), who had served as Interim Assistant Principal for six weeks in the fall.

To the delight of all present, who by this time were suffering from the combined effects of the crowded gym and the humidity, he held up a notecard saying, “This was my speech” and then ceremoniously tearing it in half, declared, “… and this is what I’m going to do with it,” … a decision well received by the graduates (see photo below.)
Photo by K. Tyler (www.ktphoto.net)
From left to right, Erin Bennett, Annie Bill and Frank Bombaci celebrate during the ceremony.

He wished the class well and inviting everyone to join the outdoor reception in the courtyard prepared by the junior class parents, said exuberantly, “Let’s get out of here!”
Class President Pat Landry (center, smiling) enjoys the outdoor reception.

Here are more photos from the great event!
Anna Seidner is all smiles.


Evan Carabello strides confidently onto the stage.


Olivia Abare-Brown is so happy to have her diploma!

Trent Soares sports a wide grin.
Jared Zimmerman finally tells the class it’s tassle-time!

“The Glass Castle” by Jeannette Walls

Jen has this habit of selecting “Must Read” books and without hesitation, we join her this week in heartily recommending, “The Glass Castle,” by Jeannette Walls. In terms of a real-life story of beating incedible odds told without a trace of self-pity, it is, to quote Jen, “an example to us all.”

If I ever meet the parents of Jeannette Walls, I am going to have a chat with them … in this world or the next.  Big time.

Boy, did they tick me off.

Jeannette was raised, with her three siblings, by very interesting, but very selfish people.

She is too nice to hold this against them, but I am not.  Maybe because I have three young children at home, I am easily dismayed by a parents inability to take care of their offspring.

Before I go on, I’ll back up.

Jeannette is a very successful woman.  She is able to look back at her life without rash judgement.  She tells us the true story of her upbringing in various impoverished situations by two people.

Her Mother is a crazy free spirit who believed that her own happiness came before that of her four children. The world owed her. Her children owed her. She was a victim and believed she had no ability to step up and help herself or her family.

Jeannette’s father was a hard-scramble, creative alcoholic, who tried, but failed, to put his children’s needs before his own. At least he tries. He is also supremely screwed-up (I believe this is the scientific term) and fails his family and himself.

Into this fray come four children who are never adequately fed or clothed or sheltered. Homeless is a state of mind the parents embraced. No ties. No responsibility. This was the goal and it was a roaring success. Unless you were a small defenseless child who wanted comfort and security. Gee, who’d want so much?

Jeannette chooses, amazingly admirably, to focus on the positive aspects. There were some remarkably tender moments. One Christmas there are no gifts so her Father takes each child out to look at the night sky. He tells them to pick a star which he then gives to them.

They certainly learned resiliency. They learned how to pick up and keep at it when faced with terrible odds. There was no where to go but up and most of the kids stood up and faced the danger head on. They worked hard. Harder than their parents. They worked and worked and escaped and made solid safe lives for themselves.

I admire the lack of self-pity. When offered nothing they went and got it for themselves. They were not coddled. They were loved but not protected. They all made it on their own terms and if we don’t take our hats off to them we are crazy. “The Glass Castle” represented a dream that Jeannette went out and made for herself.

It should be an example to us all.

Why Sometimes I Don’t Read

Our Jen was—along with (in our unscientific opinion) approximately half the population of the Lymes—sick last week.  We’re so glad to learn that she’s now recovered and here she is back again for your delight with the revealing (and riveting) antithesis to her earlier column on why she reads.

Here is the companion piece to the ever-popular,” Why I Read.”  It is fair to say that many, many people ask me how I have the time and mental where-with-all to read two books a week and review them for your entertainment.  I say I don’t know.  It just fits in somehow.  Like extra piles into the washer.  It’s a mystery, but it works.

Until it doesn’t.  Sometimes, even your fearless book reviewer just can not bring herself to pick one up.  Sometimes she reads some she hates and doesn’t want to review them (sparing you loads of whining.)  Sometimes she lies in the tub and reads Danielle Steele and is embarrassed to review them.  When all these happenings converge you get a perfect vacuum of book reviews.  I know this is momentously hard to overcome for many of you and I apologize for selfishly sapping your will to live but it can not be helped.

To bring some small bit of happiness to you I will tell you the whole unadulterated truth.  I read Margaret Atwood’s newest book, “The Year of The Flood” and disliked it.  It was as depressing as “Oryx and Crake” and it sapped my will to live.  Then I read “House” by Danielle Steele.  That was OK.  Then I read “Kaleidoscope.”  That was too much Danielle Steele for me.  Back-to-back unreality, happy ending and endless cash is too depressing.

Then I started “Crow Planet,” which will be good but made feel bad about the planet going to hell in a hand-basket because I won’t drive a Prius.  So I read “Snow White and The Seven Dwarves,” the original, written and mesmerizingly illustrated by Wanda Ga’g in the 30s.  I also did many crossword puzzles from New York Magazine and read People. And Clifford’s Halloween.”

I felt much better so I picked up “Swimming with Piranhas at Feeding Time; My Life Doing Dumb Stuff with Animals” by Richard Coniff.  I am only on chapter three and I love it.  He is clever, humorous and brave.  I will review this next week when I finish.

I have today off so I am going to read a new as yet unpublished book that the author handed me yesterday.  I can’t tell you who or what, but stick around … I will.

I thought it only fair to divulge all, so there you have it.