Death of Internationally-Acclaimed Designer Peter F. Carlson of Old Lyme Announced

Peter F. Carlson

LYME, CT—Designer Peter F. Carlson, age 70, died unexpectedly at his home in Old Lyme, Aug. 14, 2024. Originally hailing from Boston, Mass., Peter resided in various locations before establishing himself in a drafty but charming barn he imported from New Hampshire and transformed into a remarkable home. While it may lack a sunroom – a feature he often wished he could add – Peter took the absence in stride, always making light of it as he dreamed up plans for a future renovation.

Peter was a paradox. Generally warm and affable, he could occasionally display a short temper and cantankerous disposition. His partner Larry would sometimes refer to him as “Ebenezer,” while close friends and helpers playfully called him “My Liege,” both nicknames affectionately acknowledging his more challenging traits. Comparisons were drawn on more than one occasion between Peter and Hugh Laurie’s titular character on “House, M.D.,” as they both shared a sharp intellect and a flair for unconventional problem-solving.

Despite this, Peter often took more quickly to humor than he did to anger. Few topics were considered off-limits, and he navigated life’s ups and downs with kindness, self-assurance, and an irreverent wit. He found joy in life’s simple pleasures – his beloved dog Jack, his garden, Fortuny fabric, and an eclectic collection of small obelisks. He loved simple things from childhood like Lipton Noodle Soup packets and that ghastly New England brown bread sold in a can.

Peter’s house was never quiet. He enjoyed the music of Al Green and Aretha Franklin, the thoughtful discourse of NPR and lately, streaming CNN all day long to keep up with the latest political rancor. He loved documentaries about fashion and the luxury homes of Babe Paley, Patti Astor and Elsa Schiaparelli. In stark contrast to this, he also inexplicably enjoyed the TV series “Snapped.” He felt kinship with the maximalist designer Tony Duquette and often signed off his elaborate emails, “With love, TONY D.” Peter also loved reading obituaries and sharing them in emails to neighbors and colleagues, even going so far as to print and file the ones he thought were particularly good in a dedicated obituaries folder.

However, more than any of these things, he deeply loved his family and his friends. He was especially proud of his partner Larry, who was an esteemed middle school teacher at Friends Seminary in New York for 45 years.

Peter was born in Boston in 1954, but his family eventually settled in Barrington, R.I., where he spent many of his formative years. A life-long music lover, he traveled to Austria as a young member of the Barrington Boys’ Choir. He later studied English and the Arts at Connecticut College in New London, from 1972 to 1976, where he participated in the American Dance Festival. In 1974, he also attended the Eugene O’Neill Theater Center.

After graduating, Carlson moved to New York, embarking on a professional journey as a struggling young actor, sustaining himself by bartending at the legendary Studio 54 and working as a part-time driver. One unforgettable client was Edie Beale, the iconic performer from Grey Gardens fame, whom he chauffeured to and from Newark during her engagement at Reno Sweeney, a celebrated Greenwich Village cabaret. A transformative moment in Peter’s career occurred when he drove a decorator’s black Rolls Royce, adorned with custom needlepoint upholstery, leading him to conclude, “This is the way to live.” With no formal training and no clientele, he established his first interior design firm, where he ultimately achieved enduring success.

In addition to offices in New York, Carlson maintained close ties to New England and had an interior design office in Stonington in 1978, where he focused on the restoration and decoration of historic properties such as the Deshon-Allyn House at the Lyman Allyn Museum, Lyme Academy of Fine Arts and the Stonington Historical Society, restoring several 18th century and Greek revival houses owned by the society. Peter often lectured on various aspects of design for art associations, museums and libraries in the area.

In the early ’80s, Peter was a rising design star in the New York metropolitan area and was a featured designer at several Kips Bay Boys Club Decorator Show houses. Artfully mixing the old and the new, Peter’s style was described by Connoisseur magazine in May 1988 as, “neoclassicism strained through surrealism.” After founding his firm in New York, Peter married fellow designer Linda Chase in 1992. The couple relocated to Los Angeles, merging their businesses and collaborating on numerous commercial projects, including the offices of Sony, Time Warner, and Disney, as well as residential designs for prominent clients such as Kevin Costner and Jerome Moss. Peter and Linda welcomed a son, Alex, before moving to Connecticut, and subsequently divorcing in 1996.

Throughout his career, Peter remained deeply engaged in the design industry. Frustrated by a dearth of suitable lighting options for his clients, he founded a decorative lighting company in 2001 named CL Sterling and Son. Partnering with a close friend and former client, CL Sterling expanded from its Niantic headquarters to include showrooms in New York, Los Angeles, Japan and Australia. Peter’s work garnered recognition in a multitude of esteemed publications, including The New York Times, NY Times Magazine, The New Yorker, Architectural Digest, Connoisseur, Dwell, House Beautiful, Vogue and Interior Design Magazine. His designs can be found today in residential and commercial spaces worldwide.

During his nearly three decades in Lyme, Peter cultivated friendships throughout the community and was renowned for his ability to engage in conversation with nearly anyone. The longevity of his relationships with employees and friends is most easily measured in decades, with many having visited his barn for drinks, dinner, or, on one particularly memorable occasion following a trip to Southeast Asia, a sarong party. His home showcased an impressive collection of works by local artists, and he was finally able to dust off his college-era SAG-AFTRA membership for a minor role he was particularly suited for as an art collector in a film directed by a friend. The film reportedly achieved critical acclaim in Eastern Europe, a fact Peter shared frequently with pride and a wry smile.

Peter was, above all, a steadfast friend to those in need, on more than one occasion giving away the shirt or jacket off his back to someone who needed it more. His kindness, humor, and quick wit will be profoundly missed. He is survived by his son Alex Carlson; his partner Larry Carter; his father’s wife Carol Carlson; and many close friends. He is preceded in death by his mother, Martha (Weir); his father, Paul Carlson; and Alex’s mother, Linda Chase.

A service will be held at1 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 19, at the First Congregational Church of Old Lyme. All are welcome. Peter was a passionate supporter of numerous charitable causes, including support for Ukraine, the Crosby Fund for Haitian Education, and the ASPCA. The family requests that in lieu of flowers, you consider making a donation to your preferred charity.

Death of John Bysko Announced, 48-Year Resident of Old Lyme, Passionate About Local Community, Politics

OLD LYME—John Allan Bysko, 78, passed away unexpectedly on October 3, 2024 while at work.

He was born July 1, 1946 in a displaced persons camp in Hamburg, Germany. His parents and sister fled from their home in Ukraine during World War II. They came to the United States via Ellis Island when he was 5 years old. He grew up in West Hartford attending Hall High, excelling as a track star as well as in academics. He graduated from the University of Connecticut School of Business Administration with a Bachelor of Science in Accounting. He became a Certified Financial Planner in 1987 and a Certified Public Accountant in 1988. Prior to going into private practice, he was a Vice President and Head of Trust and Private Banking for Connecticut Bank and Trust Company, which at the time was the largest commercial bank in Connecticut. For a short time he worked out of his family home but quickly he needed a bigger space and 100 Halls Road became his second home. He was dedicated to his clients, many relationships spanning decades. He truly cared for them and many became dear friends. He quietly cared for many.

A friend introduced him to Jane Barry in February 1969. They were engaged in July and married in December. John leaves to mourn Jane and their 3 children, Jennifer Bysko, John Bysko Jr and Jillian (Glen) Bobowicz as well as his 5 grandchildren, Brody, Ella, Noah, Elias and Owen. He was predeceased by his parents, Motria and Wasyl Byczko as well as his sister Lucy Leavenworth who passed away just seven days prior. He also leaves behind his niece Jolene Crane and nephew James Leavenworth.

He lived in Old Lyme for the past 48 years and was passionate about the community and local politics. He proudly served as Town Treasurer, on the Board of Assessment Appeals, the committee for the renovation of the Town Hall, on the RTC for 20 years and as Treasurer for several local political campaigns.

John joined New London Rotary in 1987 and remained an active member until the day he passed away, after Rotary on a Thursday. John served on the Board of Directors for both the New London Rotary Club and Foundation. As the longtime Sergeant-at-Arms, John was one of the first people to warmly greet members and guests before each weekly meeting. John has been recognized by the club with a Distinguished Service/Paul Harris Fellow Award three times, acknowledging the important service he provided to the club and community of New London. His service to New London also included serving on the New London Symphony Board and the steering committee to form what is now the Community Foundation of Southeastern Connecticut.

The Rotary motto of “Service Above Self” was an apt saying for a man who sought to make the community and the world a better place. John confided to a member after one meeting that Rotary fulfilled his view of what is best in the world; people of all faiths and philosophies coming together through Rotary to become friends while working for the common good.

He liked to collect stamps, always searching for a hidden gem. He was an avid fan of the UConn women’s basketball team. He enjoyed attending games at Mohegan Sun and trying his luck on penny slots. He played setback on Wednesdays in Rhode Island. He went to Rotary every Thursday. He enjoyed the warm waters of the Caribbean. He loved his family beyond words, working tirelessly and showing them the true definition of the American dream. He was a first generation American who came from nothing and paved his own way to success.

He would say that “There’s little stuff and there’s big stuff and most of it is little stuff. Worry about the big stuff.” We will do our best Dad.

Calling hours will be held from 3-6pm on Saturday October 19, 2024 at Fulton Theroux Funeral Home, 13 Beckwith Lane in Old Lyme. A gathering in John’s honor will be planned for a later date.

Death Announced of Patricia “Patti” Calkins of Old Lyme; a Voracious Reader, Worked for LOL Schools for 37 Years

OLD LYME—Patricia “Patti” C. Calkins died Oct. 10, 2024, at home in the embrace of her husband and son … Patricia was born to Thomas J. Collins and Mary A. (Dorsey) Collins Aug. 10, 1948 …

Patti was married to George P. Calkins Aug. 16, 1969, at the St. Johns R. C. Church in Old Saybrook … When her kids were old enough to begin school, she started working for the Lyme/Old Lyme School District from which she retired after 37 years. … She was not an outdoor person and once responded when our family doctor asked what she did for exercise, “I knit and read.” He had no response.

Above all, Patti was a voracious reader. She read constantly until just before her death. She was an avid member of her monthly book club with several of her closest friends from school. She could be found several days a week at the Old Lyme P.G.N. Library where she had once volunteered …

Patti is survived by her husband George; her daughter Sarah R. (Calkins) Jennings; son Adam C. Calkins; and her beloved granddaughter Emily Patricia Jennings and grandson Matthew J. Jennings; Patricia’s sister Mary A. (Collins) Emma, husband Albert Emma, niece Mara Emma and nephew Jason Emma who all reside in Georgia.

A Mass of Christian Burial will be held at 11 a.m. Wednesday, Oct. 16, in Christ The King R. C. Church, McCurdy Road, Old Lyme … Patti would wish that in lieu of any flowers, a memorial donation to the P.G.N. Library, or to a library of the donor’s choice, be made to remember her “HAPPY PLACE.” …

Editor’s Note: Visit this link to read the full obituary published Oct. 15, 2024 on ‘TheDay.com.’

Death Announced of Gunilla Birgitta James of Old Lyme, Wife of George James Jr. of OL, Mother of Kristina White of Lyme

Gunilla Birgitta James
August 25, 1938 – September 30, 2024

OLD LYME—Gunilla Birgitta James (nee Hammar) 86, of Old Lyme, CT passed away at her residence on September 30, 2024 after suffering from Alzheimer’s. She was the beloved wife of George Arthur James Jr. with whom she shared 64 years of marriage.

Gunilla, born in Stockholm, Sweden to Gustav and Birgit Hammar, met and fell in love with George, while they both were working at Radio Sweden. They married and lived briefly in Glastonbury before moving to their home in Old Lyme. Gunilla maintained close connections with her Swedish heritage, spending summers with family in Stockholm, enjoying many close Swedish friends stateside, and celebrating Scandinavian holidays and customs with family and friends alike.

Her career as a teacher’s aide in the Region 18 School District was long and impactful. Her love, empathy, and humor touched many, from her work at Mile Creek with special needs students to her time at the High School library. She also volunteered at Phoebe Griffin Noyes Library, High Hopes Therapeutic Riding, the Nearly New Shop and St. Ann’s Episcopal Church.

In addition to her husband, she is survived by her daughters, Anna-Karin Li of La Quinta, CA and Kristina White (Peter) of Lyme, CT, her grandchildren, Karina and Nicholas and her brother, Bjorn (Annelie).

The family wishes to thank the many caregivers who helped us throughout mom’s illness, especially Jessica, Michelle and Venus.

Funeral Services will be held at St Ann’s Episcopal Church in Old Lyme, CT on Saturday, November 23, 2024 at 12:30pm.

Memorial contributions in Gunilla’s name can be made to the CT Humane Society.

Death Announced of Benjamin Tyler Sostre, 36, Future Son-in-Law of Matthew & Barbara Allard of Old Lyme

UNCASVILLE—On Friday, Sept. 27, the world was swept from under our feet with the unexpected loss of Benjamin Tyler Sostre, 36, of Uncasville …

He is survived by the love of his life Justine Allard and two children Cohen age 6 and Paige 10 months; his loving parents, Jenny and Neftali Sostre of Oakdale; brother Dan Sostre of Oakdale; brother and sister-in-law Jordan and Noelle Sostre of Gales Ferry; future In-laws, John and Meagan O’Neill of Waterford, and Matthew and Barbara Allard of Old Lyme …

In Lieu of flowers, donations can be to support his family on the GoFundMe Fundraiser by searching for “Justine Allard”. Condolences may be sent to Justine directly at 601 Old Colchester Road, Uncasville CT 06382 …

A Memorial service will be held from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 5, at the Montville Home of Church & Allen, 53 Norwich-New London Tpk., Montville. Private family gathering to immediately follow.

A Celebration of life will take place from noon to 5 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 12, at The Montville Polish Club, 85 Maple Ave., Montville …

Visit this link to read the full obituary published by ‘The Day’ on Oct. 2, 2024.