Monthly Archives: June 2023

Letter to the Editor: Sex Education Requires Different Materials for Preteen, Young Teen, Older Teen; Must ‘Get There’ via Practical, Civil Discussions

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To the Editor:

Recently, a letter and petition has been circulating regarding the removal of several library holdings in the young adult section on sexual education reportedly aimed at 11 to 19 years of age. Both this group and their anti-censorship/anti-book banning are missing what should be the main point of this discussion. ( Full disclosure – as a third generation liberal, I am in the latter camp.)

As a pediatric nurse practitioner and developmental specialist, I have been providing sex education as well as gynecology care for decades. I have the experience as well as data to support the fact that sex education is very important. But providing materials supposing that what is good for 11-year-olds is good for 19-year-olds is pretty ridiculous.

There are at least three distinct developmental groups with very different needs in the area of sex education within the 11- to 19-year age span.

This is not about grandiose ideologies. The primary goal is how to keep our kids healthy both physically and emotionally.

It requires different materials for the preteen, young teen and older teen. I think we can all agree on these goals. We need to get there via practical and civil discussions.

As for sexual identity, the letter from our Congregational ministers was exactly on target. As adults, we need to tell our kids that they are great exactly how they are. And yes, I have the data to prove that that kind of acceptance helps keep kids healthy.

Sincerely,

Betsy Groth APRN,
Old Lyme.

Editor’s Note: The author is a Board Certified Pediatric Mental Health Specialist and Child & Family Advocate.

Local Residents Start Petition in Support of Old Lyme’s PGN Library ‘Anti-Censorship Policies’

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LYME/OLD LYME — UPDATED 6/29 after new information received regarding the organizers of the petition: In response to a letter sent by a group of Lyme and Old Lyme citizens requesting the Old Lyme Phoebe Griffin Noyes (OLPGN) Library should reconsider its decision to include a specific sex-education book in its collection, undertake, “a proper review of the materials in the Teen/Tween room,” and “… encourage a change in the library’s focus for our community’s children,” a group of Old Lyme and Lyme residents organized a petition in support of the OLPGN Library, “and its well thought-out anti-censorship policies.”

The petition in the form of a letter addressed to the OLPGN Library Director, Officers, and Board of Trustees urges the OLPGN Library to “reject the requests of the censorship supporters in their entirety.”

Asked by LymeLine why he signed the petition, Lyme resident Jac Lahav responded by email, saying, “All book banning and censorship is toxic to free democratic society. The issue looks like it’s about two sex-ed books, but is much much bigger.”

He continued, “The book-banners’ approach is to create a climate of fear in the library and make the amazing OL [Old Lyme] librarians second guess themselves.”

Lahav concluded, “Our library supports diversity, inclusivity, and our own LGBTQ community. This type of book banning is the first step in curtailing that support. We see it happening all over the country and sadly it’s come to Old Lyme.”

Anyone wishing to sign the letter/petition can do so at this link.

The letter reads as follows:

Dear Madams/Sirs: 

First, let us begin by apologizing for the necessity of this correspondence and the unenviable  position in which you have all been placed. None of the signatories of this letter imagined that in  a community like Lyme/Old Lyme, in the year 2023, we would find ourselves forced to publicly  assert our opposition to book-banning. Yet here we are. 

As you know, some members of the public have written to you complaining about certain books  found in the Tween/Teen reading room. To proactively counter charges of censorship, they  claim they aren’t seeking a “ban” though they paradoxically request that the library “reconsider  [its] decision on this book and its availability to children ages 11-19”1 and conduct “a proper  review of the materials in the Tween/Teen room in hopes that no other content like this is  available in that space.” This is censorship and nothing more. It is the very definition of a book banning campaign. We the undersigned write not only to assert our strong opposition to any such  censorship in our community, but to make clear that those seeking this ban represent a small  fraction of the community at large. 

We believe, as Annex A to the Phoebe Griffin Noyes Library Collection Development Policy so  eloquently states, that, 

“[T]here is no place in our society for efforts to coerce the taste of others, to confine  adults to the reading matter deemed suitable for adolescents, or to inhibit the efforts of  writers to achieve artistic expression… We cut off literature at the source if we prevent  writers from dealing with the stuff of life. Parents and teachers have a responsibility to  prepare the young to meet the diversity of experiences in life to which they will be  exposed, as they have a responsibility to help them learn to think critically for  themselves. These are affirmative responsibilities, not to be discharged simply by  preventing them from reading works for which they are not yet prepared. In these  matters values differ, and values cannot be legislated; nor can machinery be devised that will suit the demands of one group without limiting the freedoms of others.“

1 It’s worth noting that 18 and 19 year olds can legally drive, vote, serve in the armed forces and marry in  all 50 states. If ever there was an indicator of the unreasonableness of the drafters’ request it is this: they unabashedly ask the library to ban legal adults from accessing books.

We likewise support the policy’s admonition that, “[r]esponsibility for children’s use of  materials rests solely with their parents or legal guardians. Selection of material will not be  inhibited by the possibility that items may come into the possession of children.” 

Though we would suggest that the content of the primary book in question, “Let’s Talk About it:  The Teen’s Guide to Sex, Relationships and Being Human,” is of little relevance in this context,  we are aware that independent reviewers such as the Kirkus Review, Publishers Weekly and the School Library Journal all reviewed it positively. In addition, we know that the book’s two  authors have had their work featured in the Tate Modern Museum in London. We do not offer  this as proof of the objective value of this book or its merit, but rather for the proposition that  reasonable minds may differ in this regard. Banning, censoring or restricting books for  “objectionable” content is a slippery slope indeed. 

Even amongst the undersigned, we understand that each of us may individually disagree as to  when, how, or whether to introduce this material to their own children. Where we differ from the  authors of the letter which spawned this debate, however, is that we do not aim to tell other  parents what their children can and cannot be exposed to. We do not aim to sanctimoniously  claim something should be removed for all because it offends some. We believe, in the words of  Ben Franklin, “if all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would  offend nobody, there would be very little printed.” 

We write this letter to support the library and its well thought-out anti-censorship policies. We  ask that, consistent therewith, you reject the requests of the censorship supporters in their  entirety. Not only do we believe these books should remain available to all, we believe that it is  crucial they remain in the safe space of the Tween/Teen reading room where curious young  adults can access them in a comfortable setting surrounded primarily by their peers. The PGN  Collection Development Policy explicitly notes that the Tween/Teen room will, “contain special  interest topics for adolescents, including, but not limited to, sex education, drug abuse, popular  culture, and mental health.” Moving these books – overtly targeted to teen needs – to a place  where access is difficult, embarrassing or populated primarily by adults, may defeat their  purpose. They are designed, in part, to help teenagers navigate questions they may be  uncomfortable discussing with or around adults. Forcing them to seek or retrieve them in the  main stacks may be tantamount to banning them altogether. 

Thank you for the valuable resource you provide our community. It is our sincere hope that you  continue to do so in a way that remains true to the ideals of our democracy, and stands firm  against the suppression of ideas. Please know that we, the undersigned, are standing with you.

Op-ed: Old Lyme Church Ministers ‘Stand Against Book Banning … Stand With Our Libraries, Librarians’ 

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Editor’s Note: The following op-ed was submitted to us by the three ministers of the First Congregational Church of Old Lyme, namely Senior Minister Rev. Steven R. Jungkeit, Ph.D.; Senior Associate Minister Rev. Laura Fitzpatrick-Nager, and Associate Minister Rev. Carleen Gerber.

When students and guests walk into the Lyme-Old Lyme Middle School, they are greeted by these words, displayed on a bulletin board:

In Case No One Told You Today:
Hello
Good Morning
You Belong Here
You’re Doing Great
I Believe In You

Those words beautifully convey what parents and educators hope for all of our young people – that they understand that they are affirmed and supported, no matter who they are, no matter how they identify, no matter what others may say.

One could wish that the 135 signatories of a letter requesting that two books about gender and sexuality be banned by the Phoebe Griffin Noyes Public Library in Old Lyme had absorbed those words.  One might wish that, prior to adding their names to that letter, they had taken to heart a lesson that educators struggle to teach young people every single day – to affirm the well-being of those around them, even across differences.  In so doing, they have effectively said to those who identify as LGBTQ+, and especially to those who identify as trans in the Lyme and Old Lyme region: “You do NOT belong here.”  “You are NOT doing great.”  “We do NOT believe in you.”

Some background might help.  Earlier this spring, one of the town committees in Old Lyme circulated a letter stating that they wished to exercise greater “parental rights” over the shaping of school curriculums and the holdings of school and public libraries.  “Parental rights” sounds innocuous, but it is the phrase that has been used across the country in efforts to ban books from school and public libraries.  It was the name of the bill passed in Florida banning teachers from speaking about gender and sexuality issues in public schools (now infamously known as the “Don’t Say Gay” bill).  And it is the phrase that has been used to roll back the civil and human rights of trans children and their parents in many parts of the country.  

Not surprisingly, the books targeted in Old Lyme have to do with gender and sexuality issues, including what it is to be trans (“Let’s Talk About It: The Teen’s Guide to Sex, Relationships and Being a Human” by Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan and “You Know, Sex: Bodies, Gender, Puberty and Other Things” by Cory Silverberg and Fiona Smyth).  While people of good faith can and will differ about the contents of the books in question, including when, how, and if to introduce conversations about those contents to young people, the banning of books – all books – is wrong.  And while there may be contents in all kinds of books that we wouldn’t defend per se (some parts of the Bible spring to mind), preventing that material from being seen or accessed is woefully misguided.  Ultimately, the decision about what books are appropriate for any young person is one that needs to be made by that young person, in conversation with his, her, or their parents.  It is not a decision that should rest with a self-appointed group of citizens seeking to act in loco parentis for all the young people in Old Lyme, or wherever such groups materialize.  Such efforts are corrosive to civic communities, and they erode the fabric of democracy.  

More importantly, however, they also erode the confidence and well being of those living in our communities who identify as LGBTQ+, or more particularly, as trans.  Book bans are a way of saying not only that printed matter should be removed or suppressed.  They are a way of saying that the lives portrayed and depicted in that printed matter should also be banned, or removed from public view.  In that sense, the efforts undertaken by those seeking to ban these books can and should be understood as a form of bullying.  Such efforts are mean spirited, cruel, regressive, and hurtful to a population that is already forced to live precariously.  They fail to imagine how painful it might be to live as trans (or, more broadly, as LGBTQ+) in a community where such a letter is publicly circulated.

The Lyme-Old Lyme Middle School has it right.  We wish to live in a community that affirms, for all of its residents, those three beautiful statements: “You Belong Here.” “You’re Doing Great.” “We Believe in You.”  

The ministers of the First Congregational Church of Old Lyme wish to convey those sentiments to all of those in our midst who have been targeted in this campaign.  We stand against book banning.  We stand with our libraries, and with our librarians.  Most of all, we stand with those who identify as LGBTQ+, and with all of those who find ways to love and to live outside of the norms prescribed by so much of our society.

We see you.  We love you.  You belong here.  You’re doing great.  And we believe in you.

Group of Residents Ask Old Lyme Library to Withdraw Specific Sex Education Book From Teen/Tween Room

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*COMMENTING ON THIS ARTICLE IS NOW CLOSED*

OLD LYME — Old Lyme resident Stephen Spooner has sent us a copy of the letter, which was addressed to the Old Lyme Phoebe Griffin Noyes (OLPGN) Library Officers and Board of Trustees, and copied to OLPGN Director Katie Huffman, the nine members of the Region 18 Board of Education, Region 18 Superintendent Ian Nevisier (sic), Lymes’ Youth Service Bureau Director Mary Seidner and the three members of the Old Lyme Board of Selectmen.

The letter references the book titled “Let’s Talk About it”,  by Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan, and requests that the library should “reconsider” [its] decision on this book and its availability to children ages 11-19.”  The letter continues, “If it is determined to be inappropriate, we request a proper review of the materials in the Teen/Tween room in hopes that no other content like this is available in that space.”

The letter concludes, “Lastly, we encourage a change in the library’s focus for our community’s children.”

In his email to LymeLine.com, Spooner states that his, “Only comment,” is, “The letter and images speak for themselves. We respectfully await their [the OLPGN Library Officers and Board of Trustees] response.”

Spooner also included the covers and a selection of pages from the two books, which are the focus of his letter. We cannot publish these as that would represent a copyright violation on our part.

Spooner identifies himself as the “Lead organizer” of the letter, which has 135 signatories. The respective hometowns of the signatories are not given but the letter states they are all, “of Lyme and Old Lyme.”

The list of signatories includes Old Lyme First Selectman Tim Griswold and Selectman Matt Ward, Region 18 Board of Education members Christopher Staab and Mary Powell-St. Louis, and OLPGN Trustee Tara Ward.

Various other signatories serve on Old Lyme Boards and Commissions including J. David Kelsey (Board of Finance Chair), Maria Marchant (Board of Finance), Mona Colwell and Margaret [Jane] DeRisio (Economic Development Commission), and Sloan Danenhower (Zoning Commission Alternate.)

The full text of the letter is as follows:

Dear Old Lyme Phoebe Griffin Noyes Library Officers and Board of Trustees, 

We are writing to you with real concern about the age appropriateness of the content in the Teen/Tween  room. 

Enclosed is a copy of a purchase decision made by our publicly funded library titled, “Let’s Talk About it”,  by Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan. We have annotated pages of concern for your ease of reference.  This book appears in the Phoebe Griffin Noyes library, 306.7 MOEN, occupying shelf space in the Teen/Tween Room. We request that you leaf through this and other problematic books, another example in enclosures, that are displayed in the Teen/Tween room.  

Every community has limited financial resources and prioritizes how to spend its funds. Libraries must make decisions about what material and content they purchase for public consumption. “Let’s Talk About It” contains graphics (often accompanied by detailed direction) on how to masturbate, have sex, conduct anal sexual activities, give and receive oral sex, with the catchy, upbeat suggestion “Things to  Try!”. It also directs readers that “a great place to research fantasies and kink safely is on the internet!  There are tons of people and communities who share your interests and have all kinds of advice.”  

A library must maintain the public trust, and that is why we, as parents, grandparents, citizens (of Lyme and Old Lyme), and taxpayers, are speaking out. This trust is especially critical when it comes to  collaborating with our children. One of the outstanding aspects of the OLPGN, given its close proximity  and close affiliation with Region 18 schools, is the ability for middle and high school students to visit the  library independently after school and at other times. We do not believe that this material is in any way  sex education and it is unbecoming of our community values.  

To be clear: we are not advocating banning any books. We are mindful of the conversations taking place nationally. Our concern is specific to the age-appropriate content within the Teen/Tween room. Some of the names below have met with Region 18 middle school principal who has assured us that this material is not available in our schools, as it ought not to be.  

We ask that you reconsider your decision on this book and its availability to children ages 11-19. If it is determined to be inappropriate, we request a proper review of the materials in the Teen/Tween room in hopes that no other content like this is available in that space. 

Lastly, we encourage a change in the library’s focus for our community’s children. Thank you for your time and consideration.  

Respectfully submitted,

– Signees are in no particular order and include many town leaders, educators, community  volunteers, parents, grandparents, LOLHS graduates, and library supporters.  

Stephen Spooner (Lead organizer) 
Mike Bucior Annie Morosky Stacy Spooner Cheryl Bucior Chris Morosky Dean Williams Heather Bushy Keith Lovendale  
J. David Kelsey Jarod Bushy Jessica Lovendale Emily Jewett Todd Burgess Trudy Burgess Mary Powell-St. Louis Jamie Munson Kasie Munson Tom St. Louis Bob Brinkerhoff Sandra King Lori Warner Speirs Debra Boardman Drew King Tarra St. Pierre
Mike Boardman Jan Warner Jim St. Pierre Kirk Hoerauf Eric Toriello Maria Marchant Dana Hoerauf Sloan Danenhower Christopher Marchant Patrick Avelange Natasha Avelange Tim Griswold David Acosta Jessica Acosta Paul Lipp Karen Lipp
Dick Shriver Lee Cantner Linda Cantner Barbara Shriver Mary Spiegel Tara Ward Matt Ward Steve Spiegel Matthew Sharp
Susan Arico Mona Colwell JoAnn Thomas York Arico Emerson Colwell John Golebiewski Lisa Golebiewski David Hovey
Deb Czarnecki Peter Bass Sarah Hovey Keith Czarnecki Michelle Bass Isaiah Griffith Sandee Griffith Emma Griffith
Christina Steiner Traver Steiner Lauren Presti Brian Monte Angela Newton Madeline Hubbard Joseph Malerba Anthony Marchant David Middleton Mrs. Joseph Malerba Angela Marchant Donna Middleton Wolfgang Albrecht Christina Evers David Evers
Kimberly Jewett Peter Kronquist Tina Albrecht Courtney Janelle Dan Montano Donna Staab James Janelle Christopher Staab Erin Staab Chris Lequire Susan Staab Whitney Barbour Amy Lequire Kim Barbour John Barbour Dave Griswold Brandon Novak Amanda Novak Elaine Griswold Andrew Monte Carol Warner Rick Guillet Suzanne Guillet Victoria Lanier Mike Presti
Allyson Presti Charles Monte Peg Kuhn Adam Kuhn Andrina Monte Ken Munson Paula Munson Dave Munson Tony Russell
Traci Russell Amanda Gates LaVern Alexander Margaret DeRisio Debra O’Neil Charlie Warner John Coughlin Michelle Labriola Mark Dishaw Kristen Dishaw Dan Labriola Charlie DeLinks Eva Cheshire Annette Hubbard Kristen Bullock Corey Bullock
Tim Goss Mercedes Buckingham Meghan Anderson Stacy Goss

Old Lyme Residents Can Now Register to Receive Alerts if Property Details Recorded Fraudulently

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OLD LYME – Last week Old Lyme Town Clerk Vicki Urbowicz announced that her office has implemented Cott Systems’ PropertyCheckTM in an invigorated effort to combat property and mortgage fraud in  the Town of Old Lyme. This 24/7 service allows residents to sign up on the Town Clerk’s webpage on the Town of Old Lyme website to receive notifications when official documents are recorded on their property.

Residents can activate alerts based on their name. This is a free service to the citizens and property owners of Old Lyme. 

Property fraud can occur if someone forges your identity, transfers your property into their name, and then records the document. This fraudulent activity can make it appear as if that person owns your home or property – and you may have no idea that this happened. It is, unfortunately, becoming  more prevalent today as cyber criminals exploit every avenue they can to cause harm and steal from everyday  citizens. 

Cott System’s PropertyCheckTM works seamlessly in the background of the Town of Old Lyme’s records management RECORDhub software, automatically triggering an alert on an enrolled record if a document with a matching name is recorded.

To activate this benefit, residents of Old Lyme can simply sign up for PropertyCheckTM alerts via the Town Clerk’s page on the Town’s website at this link. Property owners need to opt-in by first creating a RECORDhubTM account, then setting up alerts for their name, and choosing whether the alerts will be sent via email or text message.

“It’s also a good idea to set up multiple alerts based on first, middle and last name variations and your spouse’s name, to be sure that an alert will be triggered in case a recording happens with some kind of slight variation,” notes Paul Fetters, the Product Implementation Specialist at Cott Systems.  

The Town of Old Lyme has partnered with Cott Systems to offer this no-cost solution, adding an additional layer of protection to records data and allowing residents to feel safer in their homes.

Urbowicz explains, “It’s an added level of protection that can bring peace of mind to our residents. I encourage them to sign up.” 

Editor’s Note: Cott Systems empowers local government offices to improve efficiency, provide superior constituent service, and preserve the official records entrusted to their care. For more than 135 years, Cott Systems has provided services to local officials to preserve and modernize the rich history of their jurisdiction. In addition to industry-leading software solutions, Cott Systems also offers traditional data and imaging services. For more information, visit cottsystems.com.